The FORTRESS of SOLITUDE

Tip #6a

"When in a public place and amicably speaking to a stranger, its generally not a good idea to choose a stranger who is obviously speaking on their mobile phone (even if you're 100 years old...and a retard)."

"When the stranger indicates with a pointed index finger thrusting towards their left ear which is covered by their mobile, it is probably not wise to acknowledge their phone, apologize for the oversight...and CONTINUE TO TRY AND CARRY ON A CONVERSATION like a retard."

"A judge will generally be sympathetic to an injured pedestrian who is jay walking if you manage to hit them while they are still on the sidewalk."

"When you are homeless, drunk and a retard, you're fucked. However, if you manage to get your homeless, drunk ass hit by an unsuspecting driver because you've leapt out from between parked cars, it is the epitome of retarded to be attended to by the fire department, paramedics AND the police, only to turn around and leap out from between another set of parked cars when they aren't looking."