The FORTRESS of SOLITUDE

Best. Website. Ever.

Ho, ho, ho, neighbourinos! And on with the show!!

So my 'rents came down last weekend for a wee visit to celebrate my pa's birthday, as well as my gran's and my uncles. Got all that? Good. My mum actually ventured south of Parry Sound first, arriving on Thursday evening. See, I don't have a roommate anymore (more on that later) and so I have a free room for people to stay in. They decided it would be a shit roaring good time if the whole fam-damily was to come down. Joy.
We went shopping on Friday looking for earrings with black and gold but not clip ons. Simple request, huh? NOT A MOTHER FUCKING SINGLE ONE EXISTS ON THE PLANET TODAY, I swear to god. We searched high, we searched low and I finally had to throw down the fucking tiara and walk the fuck out of there like Simon Cowell walking off of American Idol. Sadly, no video clip, buds.
The father and brother then arrived on Friday afternoon. My mum decided it was a GREAT idea to go to the Boat Show which was at that very moment going on at Exhibition Place. We get on the subway and go only to find that the lovely Front Street streetcar is out of commision and we'll have to walk above ground to get a bus. MOTHER FUCK. The bus picks us up and we motor along until we get to about Bathurst were we are inexplicably shuffled off the vehicle onto an awaiting streetcar. The trolly then takes us on to Exhibition Place. 20 minutes later, we arrive and enter the Boat Show.
The show, in all honesty, should have been called the "Yawnfest of the Borolympics 2006" because after you've seen 5 boats - you've seen every possible iteration of design available at their chubby, fish bait smelling fingertips. I mean, seriously, have boat designs changed one iota since 1985 or so? Methinks not. Youthinks not also.
I will say this, however, the place was CRAWLING with hot men. The kind of men I like, though, not your Aberfuckie and Kitsch type, which is better left on a catalogue page at the bottom of my recycling bin, still sticky with month old eggnog. Hot men were rammed down my throat left, right and center. Twas fun in that respect only.
After viewing my 134th sailboat where they ask you to remove your shoes, I had had enough. We went back home and I made magic lasagna for my dad's birthday (in case you're curious, I replace the ground beef with ground turkey and the sausage with turkey sausage. I also use only low-fat cheese - cuts down on the greasy factor in a huge way). They all loved it and we had key lime pie after. FUN!
Saturday we did more shopping - at Canadian Tire, no less, which resembled Canadian Tire on Christmas Eve - just CRAWLING with retards who shop to SOCIALIZE, not actually purchase anything. I hate those stupid fuckers. You get two polite "excuse me's" from me and then you're up for a body check - that's right, lady! MOVE THE WALKER.
OH! I did check out a pub I'd not been to before that I will DEFINITELY be visiting again. Can't recall the name, unfortunately, but it resides directly across from the Rosedale Crappy Tire. You figure that shit out; what am I, your shirpa? Exactly.
Sunday we went for brunch with my gran and the rest of the family. It was great fun all around and not too long which was very nice. :)
Then last week when I went to vote (which I did) I ran into a friend of mine who lives in my building. Go figure, eh? Anyway, anyway, anyway...we started shooting the shit because I'd forgotten my license and fuck me if I didn't know you needed ID to vote. Really. I swear to god. He and I talked and he was going on about his correspondence stuff he was doing and how he was getting his degree through correspondence. I inquired further and we had a whole conversation about it. By the time I returned home to get my license, I had come to a life altering decision.
I'm going back to get my university degree with the goal of eventually going to Teacher's College. I had abandoned my teaching dream long, long, long ago when I thought it was edgy and cool to go to art school. How very 1972. I didn't like it at ALL, although I met some of my closest friends through it, and left after 1.5 years. I'm a very creative and talented individual (yes, I am) but not in a structured environment like that. Anyhoo, my point is, I had given up a very lucrative opportunity to go to McMaster for a Bachelor of Arts, majoring in English, which was always my goal, hopefully going on to teacher's college. Thing is, a couple of my friends did it and are now teachers and I just look on sadly, thinking there's no way I can go to school and keep living downtown Toronto or keep my job. Turns out, there is. And I'm fucking doing it, Joe.
Gonna be starting in April, I think, just to get enough money saved up and pay off my student loan. I'm pretty much over the moon with excitement and cannot wait to start. I know this is what I should be doing and that I've just taken the long route to come to the conclusion.
But, as they say, it's never too late to start. And that's a fucking fact.
In lighter news, this past Monday, my friend Nicole was on So Chic with Canada's answer to the Fab Five, the Mediocre Queens, Steven and Chris.




























You can almost SMELL the peroxide, can't you?

Anyway, it was a little frightening to watch because my friend Nicole took the attitude of "I need to make this show interesting" - translation: I need to look like I was just beaten and raped by 8 men prior to them yelling "Action!" I was telling M that she never looked that bad and I'd woken up beside the bitch quite a few times.
By the end of the episode, though, she looked stunning, back to her normal self. (She isn't the girl in the picture, just FYI).

To wrap up, my new roommate is moving in next Friday. Will be exciting to have someone else living there who I don't find morally reprehensible and nasally offensive, but I am worried that I've been alone for so long that I've gotten used to it. Only time will tell. Being that I'll be starting school soon (that feels amazing to say, I have to admit), it will probably be fine since I'll be reading most nights.

Wish me luck!

Turrah!!

S.
xo