The FORTRESS of SOLITUDE

Lord-thunderin'-Jesus...help us. Shockingly, this isn't the last time we see him in this state within the relatively short span of 45 minutes of show. Kayne yammered on about how sad he was that Robert left, while Vincent was chuffed that he won the last challenge. Cut to the girl's apartment with Uli and Laura chinwagging about her pregnancy...AGAIN. Next. Back to the boys' apartment and Jeffrey, you guess it, has pulled the rotted, fetid horse carcass out of mothballs AGAIN, put on his shitkicking steel-toes and is ready for some Angela bashing. This time, however, the comments are in reference to her smoking waking everyone up. I find it REAL interesting that all the 'complaints' about Angela's behaviour stem from ONE PERSON. Not too fucking obvious. He went on to talk about how the last challenge was a "nightmare" and then pulled his conspiracy theories out, dusted them off and displayed them for everyone, stating, "Angela tried to get [him] eliminated." Agnela, for her part, reiterated her annoyance Jeffrey's asstastic behaviour from last week...as well she should.
The designers were then beamed to the runway, where the Klum met them along with their models. Because last week's challenge didn't involve the models there was a surplus of two, which meant that, after the model selection, we'd have two sad, hungry girls going home. Who were they you ask? You don't really care, so I won't insult your intelligence.
"An outfit for a hip, international jet-setter" was the brief for this episode. Jeffrey's first instict was an outfit for himself (he was kidding) while Kayne was convinced it was Tara Reid because she was hip and "showed her boobies." Before she left, the Klum informed them that this challenge's winner would receive benefits in a later challenge (interesting...).
At Parsons, The Gunn revealed the true nature of challenge, telling the designers that the 'trendy jet-setter' they'd be designing for was themselves. Excellent! Meh.


The designers then ran off a list of people they considered to be jet-setters, as well as running through the criteria for said person's "travellin' garb." In the middle of this, Angela started talking about how she and her husband live on a farm and she can't really relate to jet-setters or that lifestyle - "Houston, we have a problem..."
Kayne had a major problem, too: at Mood he managed to find the single most hideous fabric ever conceived for his outfit. Jeffrey, though, found some cool wax-treated wool, which looks very much like leather, but couldn't resist the chance to degrade someone else's aesthetic, calling Kayne's potential outfit "very Liberace-like." Laura had decided to create a simple, but versatile cocktail dress, while Kayne had come up with a black tailored outfit with "hell-print" on the back and sleeve. Michael was making a "hip-hop-meets-Hamptons" type of deal, while Jeffrey was making pretty much the same outfit he walked into the show with. Uli was going to tackle another patterened dress and Vincent, a simple black shirt and pant combination. Angela was making...well, we weren't really quite sure but it involved brown linen - GREAT for travelling, dontchaknow.



We were then treated to YET ANOTHER installment of Jeffrey's obsessive interest in Angela, her mother and her attempt to "have him eliminated." It started out with Jeffrey talking to Uli about how he would be happy to be eliminated if it was for an outfit he believed in that the judges just didn't get it, but to be eliminated for making the ugliest outfit ever (the one that was conveniently worn by Angela's mother in the previous episode), he would be pissed. He also described Angela's mother as "one of the most difficult people I've ever had to work with" - niggah please. Seriously, anyone who doubts my opinion on this REALLY needs to watch the episode again - the woman said she didn't like the colour - that makes her the most difficult person on earth, apparently. Christ. I'm done and a HALF with this FUCKER. To finish off this latest psychotic rant, Jeffrey said, "I knew that I wasn't going to be making anything for Angela's mom and that was making me really happy." We then cut to the workroom, where he continued his condescending rant about the outfit, derisively laughing in Angela's general direction. She, understandly, got annoyed and simply said, "Look if you want to talk to me, just look at me."
"I'm so fucking frightened when I look at you."
"I didn't hear what you said...?"
"I don't want to talk to you."
"It was a sensitive subject because you just kept talking about my mom and that's hard for me."
"It's the nature of the challenge. Your mom was my model and I had a hard time with it. It's just the nature of the challenge. I'm sorry if you take it personally, I'm just talking about the challenge."
"It's hard not to take it personally when it's your mom."
Okay, of this exchange, I will say this - Jeffrey is the type of dickwad that insults people and needles them until they respond and then he 'wins' by deflating their argument through attacking its base, not it's merit - case in point: He's riding Angela's mom while laughing boorishly at Angela. As soon as she rightfully asks him to stop, he accuses her of 'taking it personally' claiming it's 'the nature of the challenge.' Problem is, the nature of the challenge was to work with whomever whenever and be able to make something great. He made something hideous. Angela's mother's "role" (and I really don't think she did it intentionally) is immaterial - he's a HORRIBLE designer who made a horrible dress and was HORRIBLY LOST when he wasn't presented with a client that fit his aesthetic. That was the problem. I'm shocked that no one else can see this. Moving on.
Laura weighed in on the issue, providing an unbiased view, claiming that "Jeffrey can't seem to let go of the issues that ensued with Angela's mother, but Jeffrey's often been an asshole so I'm not surprised.
We then cut back to the end of the argument, where Jeffrey revealed his true intentions, saying, "What are you so pissed off about? That I had a hard time with the challenge or are you mad that you and your mom couldn't manage to get rid of me because of the shit you talked on stage?"

Resigned to his idiocy, Angela simply sighed and said, "Jeffrey...if you couldn't tell..."
"Don't give me those weird, sad eyes," he cut her off. In an interview clip, Angela responded to the accusation, simply stating that she "had nothing to do with that dress," while Jeffrey accused her of being "calculating." Hardly, dude. God, he's fucking delusional.
"The madder she gets, the better I feel," was his last comment on the argument, which of course, pretty much sums up his entire point. He just wants to antagonize someone...the fact that he ripped into nearly everyone's designs before he had a clear target pretty much prooves he's a hyena who yelps and yelps and yelps and as soon as he sees a weakling (preferably near-death) , he gnaws on them until they break. I hate him. Period.
The one thing that surprised me about it was that Laura had so little to say in front of them, especially considering the lambasting she gave Vincent AFTER a challenge - see Episode 6.

Moving on, The Gunn then arrived in the workroom and talked to the designers. I'm gonna gloss over this entire portion since nothing of note happened...although Tim did utter a "Make it work" in regards to Angela's outfit, which is the only garment we'd, surprisingly, not really seen thus far.
Tempers flared after he left, with Kayne stressing out in the sewing room and Jeffrey, of course, ragging on everyone's outfits except Laura and Michael. Laura and Michael both commented on how Angela was a good designer but "anywhere she could stick a rosette, she did." Excuse me - they're fleurçions, you faux-redheaded freak.


Jeffrey finished early and made sure everyone knew it but not before insulting Uli's outfit. Back at the apartment, Kayne needed some advice on walking down a runway from Michael - who's the gay one again?!
The next morning at the crack of nothing, the designers woke up, ready for the runway show. While they got ready, I spotted something rather frighening and a little bit of puke rose to the back of my throat, tickling my molars...


At Parsons, the designers were told they had an hour for hair and make-up. Everyone headed down while Michael stayed in the workroom, having decided to not waste anytime. Smart move but also predictable, considering he would need zero time for his hair and make-up on the guys was pretty minimal.


On the runway, The Klum explained to the judges, who weren't introduced (seeing as the designers were all back-stage), the challenge the designers were presented with and began the show.







The designers were then critiqued (by the usual suspects and Francisco Costa, some guy from Calvin Klein) with, not surprisingly, Kayne and Angela receiving the worst ribbing of the lot. Uli received her share, too, being accused of unoriginality, being over the top and creating an outfit that can only travel to certain places.
Angela began describing her outfit and pointed out her ass-details (take that however you want...)

Michael told her she "picked the worst fabric possible for the shorts" and pointed out that she was "a mess just standing" to say nothing of travelling anywhere, at which point she would be more akin to a "homeless person" than to a jet-setter.
Vincent came out with one of his stock answers as Michael pointed out that he didn't think the black outfit had "any attitude or twist."
"I'm the twist," Vincent coldly replied.


For Kayne's get-up, Nina started off by saying, "Elvis is alive and well! To me it does seem a little suspended in time and the time is Elvis." I didn't know Elvis was a 'time' but I'm not the fashion director for Elle, so my opinion is worthless. Michael Kors described it as a "costume."

The Klum then began the elimination ceremony but said no one would be eliminated 'tonight.' The designers were then sent back to their apartments where plane tickets to an unknown destination were waiting for them. Angela was a little excited...


...a little bit more excited...


...no, more excited even than that.

...that's it. The designers got the tickets, packed and got to the airport. Once there, the destination was revealed - Paris. Neat.
They all got on the plane and travelled first class, along with the late addition of The Gunn and basically tested how well their outfits travelled. Once in Paris, they were put into trucks and driven to another unknown destination. Parsons Paris was the final stop, shockingly, and everyone headed upstairs to the workroom.
Some French bitch, who should have been overdubbed or at the very least subtitled, was introduced to the designers as the guest judge for the challenge. She would score them and along with the scores that Tim Gunn brought with him from New York, the eliminee and the winner would be determined.
To cut a long story short, Jeffrey ended up winning, unfortunately. I only say unfortunately because I really feel like he should have left before Angela simply because his ever-expanding ego needed no assistance. Mark my words, however, this dude will target someone else because his entire opinion of his own self-worth is clearly based on how worthless he makes other people feel. I know and you know it.
The eliminee, as I said, was sadly Angela. Sadly, but not surprisingly. Her outfit was horrendous and travelled in the worst possible manner, making her appear like she travelled in a laundry hamper. She was very sportsman-like about it, saying goodbye to everyone, including Jeffrey.
I really liked Angela, if only by default, because of Jeffrey's unerring ability to rag on her for very little reason and hate her based on very little evidence. Ah well...I'll miss her.


Here's hoping Jeffrey is the next to go. Having him leave immediately after his win would rock the house and would be like a giant, rusty pin entering his bloated head and have it explode violently on everyone, covering them in hot salsa. Sweet!
Here's hoping next week's episode is better, kids.

Tim G. "Make it work" count = 10
Tim G. "I'm concerned" count = 2

Categories: Project_Runway