<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\07511335417\46blogName\75The+FORTRESS+of+SOLITUDE\46publishMode\75PUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\46navbarType\75BLACK\46layoutType\75CLASSIC\46searchRoot\75http://seangstmfortressofsolitude.blogspot.com/search\46blogLocale\75en_CA\46v\0752\46homepageUrl\75http://seangstmfortressofsolitude.blogspot.com/\46vt\0754595851844436384476', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

The FORTRESS of SOLITUDE

"So morbid...a sentimental replica of a planet long since vanished..."
~ General Zod

 

Project Assholery 3.7

Wow. This week's Project Runway played as if the producers had taken everything negative in the previous 6 episodes and ramped it up past 'not very nice,' screeching towards 'hellishly sadistic.' An enjoyable episode, no doubt, but god DAMN some of these designers (one in particular) are total, complete and utter assholes. Like seriously, Admiral Asshole of the United Federation of Assholery.


"Asshole, sir. Major Asshole."


Let's get started.

Episode 3.7 began with Jeffrey bemoaning the fact that picture perfect Alison was eliminated last week. Boo-fucking-hoo, I say. I do agree, however, that Vincent should have been eliminated, but that's the way it goes down, and as we know, every episode has this little disclaimer at the end:

"The judges considered both their scores and input from the Producers and Bravo in reaching their elimination decisions."

In other words, their designs have little to no relevance. Same reason Santino was kept in for so long, because he made good TV, not good clothes - remember that lingerie challenge? Sweet Jesus on a stick.


Anyhoo, Jeffrey goes on about how her leaving was a 'huge blow' coz Alison was his 'best friend.' Huh? I never got that impression myself, but who am I? Just a viewer, that's who. Then came the kicker we were all waiting for and no less than 1.5 minutes into the episode. The sentence started off with "I don't want to harp on Angela... (I doubt that) ...but (told ya) the truth of the matter is, Angela should have been up on that stage being grilled and in the bottom three." Get the hell over it, man. God, he's annoyingly obsessed.
We were thankfully then saved from any further Jeffrey Douchebaggery and whisked over to Robert and Michael's apartment, where the two were just leaving. Michael began talking about how he was "the first double winner of Season 3" and how "amazed" he is about it. Good for him, I say.
On the runway, Heidi appeared, wearing a thankfully tasteful little jean and tank top number, although the bedazzler neckline made me wanna puke.

"Ficken Sie ab!"

The Klum then revealed their challenge this week: designing an outfit for the everyday woman. She then explained that there would be more later, but first, the models came out.


That's right, the models were the designers mothers, or in some cases, their sisters. Vincent and Robert's sisters were there, while the rest of the designers mothers populated the runway. Everyone had a look of shock on their face as they realized these were the people they'd be designing for. Laura began crying at the sight of her mother, while Jeffrey pointed out to everyone, "That's my mom, there."
"I thought she'd have a mohawk," Laura replied.

"Oh, but I do..."

The ladies all introduced themselves and they were pretty much as expected. The Klum then said the designers all had to choose one of the ladies to design for but they couldn't choose their own relative. Michael chose first because he won in 3.6 and landed Teresa, Robert's sister. The choices continued as follows:

Michael - Teresa, Robert's sister
Laura - Pam, Jeffrey's mother
Angela - Lorraine, Laura's mother
Vincent - Heidi, Uli's mother
Uli - Judy, Kayne's mother
Robert - Patricia, Vincent's sister
Kayne - Pamela, Michael's mother

and because there were no other mother's left,

Jeffrey - Darlene, Angela's mother

...we all know where this is going, don't we? Continuing on...

The Klum informed everyone that Tim Gunn would be giving them more information in the workroom and then trotted the women off the stage.
Over at the workroom, the women and their relatives were reunited for some short one-on-one moments, which was a nice touch. Uli hadn't seen her mother in a year, so it was an emotional reunion, while Michael's mother was very interested in his winning designs. Tim Gunn then entered the room and told everyone that they'd be attending a special event being put on by this week's guest judge. Who EVER could it be?!?
Everyone, the designers and the ladies, were carted off to Tavern on the Green where they met none other than Michael Kors and his lovely mother (colour me disappointed, people).

Men In Black III

Michael Kors mother, Joan, welcomed everyone to TOTG and sounded like she'd just run out of Virginia Slims and was only doing this for cash to buy more. She also said that she was going to be the celebrity judge this week - could be interesting, no doubt about it. Designer Michael, not Mr. Kors, then said that he could tell Mr. Kors was a mamma's boy like him. No comment, thank you.
The Kors then popped a champagne bottle and everyone settled down for some good home reminiscing and we all know what that means...embarassing childhood photos!!!

Let's have fun, shall we? Guess who these are:




Ew...and a half. As Jeffrey's mother pulled out his photos, she was shown in an interview clip talking about how he's gone through a lot in his life, how he's a recovering alcoholic and how she's so gosh darn proud of everything he's done. She also should have mentioned how he's a functioning asshole, since clearly he suffers from that a great deal. It was really put in there to garner some false sympathy for the idiot as he's so entirely and completely unlikeable on the show. No dice from this viewer, Bravo!
Thankfully we cut away to Laura and her mother conversing with The Kors. Laura lets slip that she's pregnant, which seems very misplaced and frankly...how do you 'just let it slip' anyway? Her mother flipped out, though, which was the real moment of glory.

"She seriously puts rosettes on everything...??"

Turns out that Laura only learned of her pregnancy while she was on the show, and as such, couldn't tell anyone in her family. The Gunn then called on everyone to gather and return back to Parsons. After saying farewell to The Kors, The Gunn led them off to The Workroom.
Back at the school, The Gunn explained the challenge in a little more detail:

"Designers, as Heidi said, you are creating a look for the everyday woman. This is a look that should fit the day to day of your new client. At the same time, it should be fashion-forward and reflect who you are as a designer. You will have 30 minutes to meet with your client and go over design ideas, and you'll have one day to complete this look."

Everyone groaned at the last bit but were quite relieved when The Gunn added his trademark, "Make it work," knowing he wouldn't let them down.

Tim G. "Make it work" count = 8 9

Gathering in their groups, the designers and clients went through their ideas. Robert was the first one to take the plunge, complaining that designing with 'normal' women is a bit odd for these people who are used to perfect stick figures. Tough, I say. He and Vincent's sister decided to go with a kimono idea. Angela and Laura's mom thought of doing a Hepburn-like outfit and Lorraine added, "I'm open to anything you think is good." She then added that she "would like Laura to win, but [...] certainly wouldn't do anything to hinder Angela from winning." Good attitude - sadly, I don't think that's going to be the norm with these ladies. Pamela, Michael's mom, was paired with Kayne and he told her that he didn't want to make something that looked "like you could totally go out and buy it," which she seemed very receptive to. Kayne then went on to explain that he chose Pamela because "she had the brightest outfit on on stage and she had rhinestones on her shoes." He also relayed his experience as an overweight person and the unfortunate fact that very little clothing made for people of that size looks stylish or even good.

"Jeeves - no time for cocktails!"

On to Vincent, who felt like Heidi, Uli's mother, had "a European-air about her and [was] a stylish woman." Together, they chose to go with a simple, sexy black & tan dress. Vincent also pointed out that he "didn't speak German at all but [Heidi] knows well enough what [he's] trying to get across." Over to Laura who was measuring up her client, Jeffrey's mom, Pam and complimented her on her trim waist, which, according to Laura, is as small or smaller than some of the models they get in there. Cha-right...moving on...
Laura had designed a cruise-ship type outfit for Pam in seafoam green and cobalt blue. Sweet. As we panned over to the table behind them, Laura mused, "I wonder what Jeff's designing [that's](sic) so elaborate over there."
"I just hope he keeps her in mind," Pam added.

This is actually the amount of time
that Jeff was willing to be in the presence
of Angela's mother without displacing
his completely groundless hatred of her
daughter onto poor Darlene.

As Jeffrey was measuring her up, Darlene, Angela's mom, talked about how her dress sense was "very traditional" and the designer that she had "stands out in a crowd" so "[they] are the challenge." In a very polite and sweet way, Darlene explained her insecurity about her size and how Jeffrey's idea of a long dress, wouldn't really make her comfortable. She also pointed out that she wanted a "deep green or deep purple." Jeffrey assured her that "we're gonna choose some darker colours." In an interview clip, Jeff was shown saying, "This is so far out of my realm - designing a dress for a woman this size. I just don't do it. I haven't done it." Back in the workroom, Angela's mom said that she liked the idea of "a real striking jacket," but after a nanosecond of analysis, Jeffrey came back with, "I don't like it. I don't like that idea." To his credit, he went on to explain that in ONE day he didn't want to tailor a jacket, which Darlene seemed amenable to. Jeff also elaborated in his interview clip that despite her "saying she liked wearing jackets, [he] said, "[...] [He's] not going to get into something that [he] can't make really nicely in the time that [he has]."

"I guess CLIENT = SILENT PARTNER, eh?"

Angela's mother, who was as nice as could be, then said, "So what else are you thinking of?" Seriously, the poor woman had clearly resigned herself to the fact that he was entirely disinterested in anything she had to say and would sew together whatever the fuck he wanted to. He couldn't come up with an answer, though.
"I just feel bad, you know? I feel like I want to cry because I feel like I'm limiting you," Darlene told him. For the record, I love Angela's mom. Just because she had the balls to say that in the face of such condescention and resistance from a douchebag designer with a chip on his shoulder.
Back from the break and the designers all headed to Mood to pick their fabrics. Robert had apparently asked Vincent's sister what her favourite colours were and she told him red & black. "I was like, oh god, here I go again with boring colours," he mused. Thing is...the colours MIGHT be boring, but you're a DESIGNER. If it ends up be boring, I bet its about 5% to do with the colours and 95% to do with your BORING designs. Moving on. Uli picked a lovely print for Kayne's mother's outfit while Jeffrey considered Darlene's colour suggestions. Upon seeing the dark greens they had, he chose to pick a perriwinkle, which he described as "perfect." Yes...perriwinkle = dark green, yes....yes. After the purchases, it was back to Parsons.
They began cutting their patterns when they arrived back at the workroom and Laura talked about how "there's some really stumped designers in that room, especially the designers with the larger women who've never done anything like this before have no idea how to depart from the basic mumu dress with the little jacket on top."
"The way its probably going to end up looking, I'm probably going to go home," the ever positive and non-arrogant Jeffrey added. Robert was confused by the porportion of a 'normal' body, as was Jeff. Vincent, oddly, proved to hit the nail most directly on the head:

"People felt uncomfortable with this challenge because they like to dress beautiful, lean models who have perfect 25 inch waists. You have to be able to compensate and deliver to real women because those are the people that wear your clothes."

Brilliantly put. Michael then began describing his idea as "a really sexy, shirt dress and then I got the idea to make a reversible dress - I thought that would be great for the everyday woman."

"You will never be good enough. Never."

A few hours later and the Gunn entered the room, telling the designers that their "models [were] eager to check in on their progress." He sent them in and they paired up with the designers once again. Kayne pulled out his print fabric that he bought and Michael's mother was very impressed, as was Judy, Kayne's mother, with Uli's choice of fabric. Vincent said that Heidi, Uli's mother, totally understood what he was trying to do which of course, was immediately followed by a clip of her saying, "I don't understand anything." Lorraine, Laura's mother, was a little concerned about Angela's fabric colours, but Angela rolled with it and immediately discarded what Lorraine didn't like. She also pointed out that she thought that "maybe [she] might have intimidated Angela just a little bit because when it comes to the clothes and the type [she] likes, [she does] have strong opinions."
The Gunn then headed to Jeffrey's table, where Darlene was standing doing nothing and Jeff was nowhere to be seen. He asked Angela's mom, "What's he doing for you?"
"Well, this is going to be my dress - it's going to be a long dress," she answered.
"And are you happy with this?"
"Well, um, you know, I'm just concerned that the colours are matronly and I try to avoid that. And I have never worn blue, I've never worn powder blue, so it's like a shock to me."
"Alright...did you tell him you're disappointed in the colour?"
"No, he doesn't know," she said with a look of worry on her face. (Fact is, he DID know, he knew exactly what she wanted and CHOSE to not get it and go with something COMPLETELY different.)
"So this is not where you were expecting it to go, clearly..." The Gunn continued, as Jeffrey approached in the background.
"No," she said, "No." At this point, Jeffrey arrived, surprised that The Gunn was already at his station. Tim explained that he simply took the opportunity to speak to Darlene without him being there.
"And what did Darlene have to say," Jeff asked, with a hint of patronization.
"She's a little ambivalent about the colour," The Gunn explained. Jeffrey went on to tell Tim that Darlene asked for a dark purple, which they were going to use and that the dark green didn't look good so he chose something else. He went on to complain about the fact that "half the time is gone and Angela's mother started telling Tim that she doesn't like the dress that I'm making." First of all - a) she didn't say that, she said she was 'shocked' at the colour, Tim used the term 'ambivalent' and b) she hates the dress but said nothing about it to Tim, Jeff was just surmising this based on the fact that he totally and purposely blew off her ideas in favour of his own. "She was just completely setting me up," Jeff melodramatically yelled in his interview clip. Sorry...how is she 'setting you up' exactly?? This dude seriously has lost his mind.
They then cut to a clip of Jeff speaking at Angela's mother (not speaking to, mind you) in which he said, "I'm gonna make the dress I'm gonna make - I hope you like it. If you don't like it, there's not a thing I can do about that - I only hope the judges like it." What a fucking uber-prick!

"Sorry, what's your opinion again?
Oh - right...FUCK OFF."

Darlene, clearly hurt by his comments (let alone the rude manner in which they were thrown at her), replied by asking, "If it's not what I expected, why am I being treated like this?" And she was right - she only said she was surprised by the colours at this point - need I remind you of the only thing she said ("I'm just concerned that the colours are matronly").
Jeff, being the mature and personable individual we've come to love, shoots back, "I don't even appreciate you standing here right now."
"Do you talk to everybody like this?" Darlene asked, appalled.
"How am I treating you? You explain to me how I'm treating you," he sardonically asked back, "I'm just being honest." (By the way, I love this one - you can insult anyone and be as rude as you like as long as it's 'honest' - the fact that 'honesty' is a subjective term and means different things to do different people doesn't much matter, I guess. Problem is, the thing you should say is "I'm just being tactless" because no matter how honest you are, calling an idiot stupid isn't tactful or clever.)
"Jeffrey, when I was asked my opinion - if you were standing right there I would have said the exact same thing," Darlene explained. And it's true - Jeff didn't give two flying fucks about this poor woman's opinion, he'd written her off the second she introduced herself as Angela's mother. Period. "You know when I walked in here, I couldn't get excited. You have great ideas, you're so talented, but I know what works for me."
"Maybe other people find things about you that are beautiful that you don't find in yourself because of your insecurities," he countered (I think by calling her insecure, he was trying to compliment her, but I could be wrong), "What do you think about that?"
"I think if you have your own taste in clothes, it doesn't mean you're insecure."
"Excuse me," he said and walked way. What a lovely guy. "I just let her know that I didn't appreciate it - you put me in a really horrible position (you did that yourself) and I don't want to talk to you, I've got work to do." Project Assholerly INDEED!

"I shall summon all the power of
Lisa Loeb to destroy you!"

In the sewing room, Jeff was STILL yammering on about it, but clearly his true emotions came out this time as he said, "That crazy bitch is in there telling Tim she didn't like the colours. It's very appropos - I don't get along with her daughter, why should I get along with her?"
In the lunchroom (again!), Angela was sitting talking to her clearly distraught mother. Darlene explained that she was "really upset and [she was] really insulted." Angela tried to ease the pain by explaining that this behaviour and M.O. was nothing new. When recalling the hatred in his voice, Darlene began crying and Angela rubbed her back in support, saying, "It's ok."
"I know this is really hard for my mom and to see her upset is just the absolute worst thing that could have happened and [big clunky edit here] I just felt like, 'You ass.' It's Jeffrey - he's the ass; not me and not my mom."
Vincent came past Jeffrey's workstation and muttered, "The mother's crying."
"She's crying," Jeffrey condescendingly inquired.
"You broke her down. What can I tell ya?"
"I'm just honest with her - why should I be nice? You're not being nice." FUCK YOU, you arrogant mother fucker. God, I hate him more with each passing frame.
Vincent seemed to agree, saying, "Jeff is still cry-babying about Angela's mother. What's happening is you're seeing Jeff's true colours."

"Bitch, why you cryin'? My little Jeffy
better not lose because o' yo fat ass!"

Pam, Jeff's mother (and the most impartial person in the room, clearly), came over to comfort Darlene and hopefully provide some explanation as to how she managed to become impregnated by a jackel. She explained that Jeffrey was "very emotional (what?) and especially when it comes to his stuff."
"He didn't want me near his table!" Darlene told her.
"He's just under a lot of stress," (Yep, I'm sure that's what Klara Hitler kept telling the neighbours, too) Pam spun his idiotic behaviour quite nicely, adding, "This means a lot to him. Let's just try to go forward for your sake, for Jeff's sake. Hopefully everything will be better tomorrow."

"This bitch is worse than he is, for christ's sake."

Then Pam headed back to the workroom where she met up with Jeff and hugged him. He asked how it went (obviously he told her to go in there and smooth things over) and she started crying, too, saying, "It's going to be okay."
Jeff added, "It breaks my heart because my mom can't believe I was a junkee, living on the streets and suicidal and turned my life around. I think my mom would think it was a terrible, terrible waste not to see Project Runway through to the end." So...because you were a junkee you're excused from being an asshole? I see. Interesting theory.

Back from the break and Angela and Jeff conveniently found themselves sewing next to each other in the sewing room. In an interview clip, Angela reiterated what an ass Jeffrey was to her mother and how upset it made her. "I don't know all happened," Angela began in the sewing room.
"She was going out of her way to make me look bad and embarass me, so," Jeffrey cut her off.
"I doubt that."
"I'm just not gonna stand for it." WTF kind of DELUSIONAL PRICK is this guy?! Holy shit.
"I really just...don't know to say," Angela concluded.
"She's an unhappy customer, that's all."
"She's also my mom."

Cutting away from the drama, we were then treated a sneak peak at Kayne's outfit for Michael's mother - a poncho and pants. All the designers were working hurriedly, but Uli took a moment to look at Michael's outfit and informed him that he was going to win three challenges in a row. Way to jinx it, you Tutonic bitch. So now we know Michael isn't winning. Scratch him off the list.

Ah shit - we then cut back to Jeffrey's little world where he started blathering on about how he did such a great job, so much better than everyone else who just cut big holes in material and called it a 'poncho' - but, I think you'll find everyone else's clients might be RECURRING customers, you tool. As he made his poncho comment, we cut to Robert's design which was 'meh' with a capital 'yawn.' I sense danger on the horizon here. Of his design, Robert said, "I didn't love it, but it looked good." This is the same guy who called his own work dreadful last week...tsk, tsk, tsk.
The designers returned to their apartments at the end of the day and Uli immediately cracked open a bottle of wine. NICE! We got some more comments on Laura's pregnancy which got boring REAL fast. She did have a funny comment though, about throwing her new kid on the pile with the old ones.

"Someone find me a precarious staircase, please!"

The day of the runway show arrived and Michael said he was anxious for it because he can imagine what the women would look like playing to the camera. The Gunn entered the workroom and he explained that they only had an hour and half until the runway show and sent in the models. Jeffrey handed Darlene her outfit and told her to change behind a nearby screen, then walked away before she had a chance to say anything. Angela was nearby and followed her behind the screen and told her to basically be honest on the runway about the outfit. Her exact quote was "If the judges ask you on the runway how you feel about it, just say how you feel - you have the right to be honest." As Darlene thanked her for 'her help,' they came out with Darlene in Jeffrey's outfit.

"I feel so beautiful."

Jeffrey led her over to do a more precise fitting and an interview clip of him came up, saying, "If I happen to go out of the game behind this challenge, I can actually kind of feel good about it because its nothing I could have ever prepared for." Yes, treating people like human beings is a bit tricky at times. Problem is, Jeffrey is a purely celebrity designer - he's designed for Madonna, among others, so I'm sure he sees even being with these other designers as 'beneath him.' Thing is, why is he on this show if he's so scary talented? And why has he never won a challenge if he's so scary talented...and why has he been in the bottom three so often? TELL ME THAT, MAN!
The models then headed to hair and make-up which was quite fun because it was a bunch of moms and sisters just getting made over. Good times.
Back at the workroom, Laura, her mother Lorraine and Angela looked at Angela's outfit for Lorraine. In an interview clip, Laura commented, "Angela's work is very inconsistent - you never know what she's gonna come up with. The main pieces of the garment were way too basic and the styling of the garment was way too ecclectic, but not in a good way." The Gunn then entered and commanded everyone to the runway.

Back from the break and The Klum strutted out onto the runway looking very nice in a black, off-the-shoulder number. She reminded them that the challenge this week was to create an outfit for the everyday woman. She also told them that there would be no immunity for this challenge's winner (good!). The judges were introduced - Michael Kors, Nina Garcia. and Joan Kors, Michael's mother we met earlier, who still sounds like her throat is coated in lung butter. With that, the show began:

Laura - Pam, Jeffrey's mother

Uli - Judy, Kayne's mother

Vincent - Heidi, Uli's mother

Kayne - Pamela, Michael's mother

Angela - Lorraine, Laura's mother

Robert - Patricia, Vincent's sister

Michael - Teresa, Robert's sister

Jeffrey - Darlene, Angela's mother

And that was that. The judges tallied their scores and split the group into two: Michael, Kayne, Vincent, Uli and Robert were first, while Angela, Laura and Jeffrey were sent off (this was because it was the only way to split the group into two so that no relative was onstage without their related designer).
The first group's models then came out and the questions began. The Klum chose Michael to begin with and he explained that Teresa, Robert's sister, had an office job, so the idea of a reversible dress came to him. The Klum then stated that because the dress is reversible, it's a lot better than they originally had thought. "I think the top with the neckline and the sleeves is lovely," added Joan while her son thought, "The concept of the shirt dress: supersmart. I think the belt is matronly, but I think the idea is great."
Uli was second, who explained that she designed for Kayne's mother. Michael Kors began the commentary and said, "What's so great about this is that it's understated and chic at the same time." He also added, "The fabric is hanging well - plus sizes look better in clothes that have some drape and some hang." Nina asked Judy if she would actually wear the outfit, to which she said, "I would wear it when I got out to eat or something like that with my husband." "I love this outfit," Joan added, "I thought this was really flattering." The Garcia then pointed out that it actually looked like something Uli would make, but tailored to Judy's taste and needs.

"But she sucks, I do NOT."

Pamela, Michael's mother and Kayne were next. He explained that he was trying to create an outfit that could be word separately or together. "It might be too matchy-matchy for me," Nina offered, while Michael thought "that Pamela could look a little hipper, a little groovier" and pointing to her neckline said, "a little bit of skin here, I think, would have looked fabulous on her. You know, there are ways to sort of trick the eye. 'Younge' is not a bad word."
Vincent with Heidi came under fire next, with The Klum grilling her in their native German tongue. Uli's mother loved the outfit, according to The Klum...only she knows for sure, though. Joan also loved it, saying, "I thought this was wonderful. I thought it was very appropriate. It looked right on you. You looked comfortable in it. I thought it was very flattering." "I think its a very chic, sleek dress for an adult. I think it's very good looking on her," added her son. The Garcia concurred.
Robert, with Vincent's sister Patricia, was asked about his outfit. "I think a tank dress was a very easy route," The Garcia was not amused, "I think prints...why not prints?" "I agree," The Klum interjected, "Print would have been great." "You are a designer. This is a design challenge," The Garcia continued. Both Robert and Patricia expressed their satisfaction with his final product. Heidi pointed out that it was cool that he was listening to his clients wishes, but he should know better than to not inject some style into the design. The Kors added his two cents and said, "It's a great basic, but I just think she's got a great personality, why not show it?"
The group was then asked to leave the runway and Angela, Laura and Jeffrey were brought out with their models. Lorraine and Angela were first up and The Garcia let fly immediately saying, "To be honest with you, Angela, I feel as though it's almost too young. It seems age inappropriate." Recalling the initial Hepburn idea, Joan Kors said she didn't see it at all, while Michael said, "Audrey Hepburn was about neatness, crispness. I mean, this is more Stevie Knicks in black."
Laura and Jeffrey's mom, Pam, were then up and Laura explained her idea of cruise-wear since Pam and her husband travelled extensively. "It's made very well," The Klum began, "but I just don't think it's very flattering for her. She looks really short on top and really long on the bottom." "Would you wear this on a cruise?" Joan asked. "I would wear this to dinner," Pam replied. "I find the scarf, the sailor buttons - all of it together is rather 'aging,'" Michael finished off.
Jeffrey and Darlene, Angela's mother were last. Jeffrey began by introducing Darlene explained the she's worked at the Salvation Army for 2 years. "The Red Cross," Darlene corrected him demurely.

"My personal assholery has never
been outdone before - congrats."

The further his explanation of the outfit went, the more uncomfortable Darlene became simply because he came out with a stream of bullshit that was so false, it was a little frightening, talking about how he based it on the outfits she wore when they met, how her only stipulating was being covered, etc.
The Klum was having none of this and interrupted, asking, "Darlene, how do you like your outfit?"
"Evidently, Jeff and I are obviously different and there was a lot lost in translation," she said amicably, actually being HONEST and TACTFUL (look it up, Jeff, you fucking waste), "I feel quite matronly. If I was in an exclusive department store and saw this, I would walk right by."
"My objective really was...really was...to make Darlene happy."

Seriously, at that completely unfounded comment, I wanted Angela to discreetly walk up behind him and smack him in the head. "At the same time," he continued, "to somehow put my stamp on this."
"It's very you," The Kors began, "but I think that maybe you were trying to please her, but not really. You have this tension going on - you were trying to please yourself and please her and I think the seesawing back and forth ended up with a confused outfit." What seesawing, btw? I didn't notice any myself. "I have to say I didn't really love it," The Klum added, "But at least I see your point of view here. Angela, how do you think your mom looks?" WOAH! Niiiice! :D Sorry, that moment made me giggle like a little girl meeting Jordan from NKOTB. Her reply? "Not attractive. I think it's embarassing." Eeeexcellent. The judges then deliberated as the designers left the runway.
Back from the break and Michael was the first name called, since he had immunity. Then Laura was called. The winner of the challenge was Vincent, which I think he actually deserved. Nice recovery, but you're still a fucking psychotic mess.
Uli was called next, followed by Kayne and then Angela. Robert and Jeffrey were left standing on the runway and The Klum brought the ax down on...

...Robert. I'm not surprised because as much of an asshole as Jeffrey clearly is, Robert is bor-the-fuck-ing. Seriously...his outfits have all blown huge amounts of ass. And, as I warned at the beginning of this recap, their outfits have less than 50% to do with the decisions. Jeffrey, still not content to be just an asshole, adds that Robert shouldn't have gone because he's a 'good person' and there 'are people here who aren't good people.' I wonder who he's talking about. I mean, it's not like his assholery is aimed at one person and their family members is it? Oh wait...nevermind.

Robert realizes the Gay Mafia was just a pipe-dream
...or was that a pole-smoke?

Until next week, gentle readers!

Tim G. "Make it work" count = 9
Tim G. "I'm concerned" count = 2

Categories:

 

for this post

 
Blogger Mark G. Says:

Poor Robert. He worked with Barbie for God's sake! How could he produce such boring clothes week after week!?

Jeffrey really needs to let this thing with Angela go. I think he might have been a happier person as a homeless junkie!

 
 
Blogger SeangSTM Says:

Indeed - Robert has an unhealthy obsession...and my big problem with it is that it's based on such an unimportant thing that neither of them had control over. He basically blames Angela for the judges choosing her design over his. And the fact of the matter still remains that Angela's DESIGN won the Macy's challenge and Jeffrey's WORK on KEITH'S design didn't. I don't get why he's so completely bent out of shape about it.
I do love how the producers managed to fool us into thinking that Angela might be the villian this season in the first couple episodes.

 

Leave a Reply