The FORTRESS of SOLITUDE

So I come into the office today and there's a voicemail message waiting on the mainline. It's a generic number that is given out if you need to reach our department, but don't know who you're specifically needing to talk to. I pick up the phone, enter the security code and wait, expecting to hear "Hi, I need help with so and so and such and such...blah, blah, blah..."
With my pen at the ready, I heard the click that signified the commencement of playback.

"Hi, um...this is Martina. If you can give me a call back at XXX-XXX-XXXX at your earliest convenience, I'd appreciate it. Ciao."¹

So, I find it kind of odd that Martina gave no indication of her problem or who she was really trying to reach. And I thought, "Fuck it" and I called her back immediately (at 8am, mind you), thinking that I'll surely get a voicemail and then the onus is on her to call me back.
I dial the number and it rings a few times and then she picks up and says, "Hello."

"Hi, this is Sean calling from XXXXXX, returning the voicemail you left."

"Okay. [long pause] Sean, this is Martina."

"Yes...?"

"And I left you a voicemail..."

"Yes...?"²

"And you and your wife wanted to get together?"

"Uh...?"

"I left you a voicemail. Are you interested in getting together?"

"Uh........?"

"Sean?"

"Um, this is a place of business. I'm not sure how you got this number, but it's most likely NOT the number you think you're calling."

"Oh...okay."

"Yeah."

"Okay, well Sean, I'm sorry to have interrupted your workday and I hope you have a good one."

"Thanks...?"

"Ciao."

[UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...!]


¹ I seriously LOATHE when non-Italian people say "Ciao!" at the end of conversations or exchanges. It's so fucking euro-trash...bleugh.
² At this point I realized that she thought I was supposed to know what she was calling about...

Categories: Miscellaneous