The FORTRESS of SOLITUDE

Yesterday was a BIG day for yours truly.

First of all, I left work in a huff. Well, not really, I had just had enough so I left a 1/2 hour early. Truth be told, I left early so I could go to Canadian Tire to buy a granny cart. That's right! A GRANNY CART. A beautiful piece of machinery not unlike the one pictured below:

Lovely, isn't it? I bought it at Crappy Tire for $29.99. I wanted to buy a stylish liner but sadly they do not sell them in the size I needed. Something a lot of people would never realize is that the average size ganny cart is only good for people who are of average size. If, like me, you are 6'4" it becomes a huge back strain because you're actually WALKING like a granny while you use the granny cart.
I brought it home and assembled it. Then I used it to bring down some of the last pieces of garbage from my apartment before I start to truly pack for the move next weekend. It was fun.
Then M showed up and we took some beer bottles back to the beer store - which the dyke-a-saurus left there.¹ Granted, she didn't leave them all, but at least two cases were hers.
I can also use it to get groceries when I move, which will be sweet! :)
Was going to create another "Tips for Retards" today, but I don't think its justified in this instance. Here's the thing - people's inability to understand the basic function of a four way stop with crosswalks is astounding. And their ability to honk their horns at pedestrians when they themselves are in the wrong is mind blowing.

M and I watched "Deal or No Deal" which is this semi-new gameshow on NBC hosted by Howie Mandell. Like Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and The Weakest Link before it (and Three's Company), it is based on a (likely) superior UK version. Oh well. Bottom line: I got sucked into it like the goldfish in the opening credits of "Gimme a Break!"
Here's a really dumbed down version of how it works. A contestant (chosen through methods they didn't explain) comes on and they are presented with 26 cases, each containing a different cash value, ranging from $0.01² to $1,000,000. The contestant chooses a single case, which remains unopened for the duration of the show. Then they are forced to eliminate 6 of the remaining 25 cases. The selections are opened and once finished, the 'banker'³ calls down and offers them a deal (some amount of money for them to sell their original case). The amount the banker offers is based on the odds of having a large amount in their original case. For instance, if the 6 cases you eliminate contain $0.01, $100, $5000, $50 and $10, you'll get a badass offer because the chances are greater that you'll have a shitload of cash in your original case.
Its an interesting concept solely because it displays greed and idiocy of the contestants. Last night's episode was hilariously cruel, having a contestant's husband who was stationed in Iraq help her via satellite. She mentioned that she wanted to buy some Harley with the money (and a matching helmet). So the third offer she got was $99,000 and the exact Harley she wanted. She said, "NO DEAL!" Moron. Eventually she got widdled down to the end, accepting a measely $28,000. Hahaha! Ah, it was fun to watch, but one of those shows you want to walk away from but can't.
One question remains...

Hair... or no hair...

















Ta!
S.

¹And yes, she did come again to pick some more crap up but now she has her food and a curtain rod left. And she's 'coming back next week' to pick it up. This is the same girl who had a brain aneurysmn when she had to pay 'an extra month.' Cunt.

²I really miss the use of the cent (¢) symbol. Are we that far advanced that we no longer need it? I say NEIN! For those wanting to know how to revive this long forgotten trend, simply hold your ALT key and hit 0162 on your keypad. MAGICAL!

³Some douche in shadow above the stage...

Categories: Deal_or_No_Deal, apartment,