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The FORTRESS of SOLITUDE

"So morbid...a sentimental replica of a planet long since vanished..."
~ General Zod

 

Tips for Retards™ - Tips #28, #29, #30, #31 and #32

Seriously, the idiocy keeps occurring despite my efforts to enlight the 'tards. *sigh* Onward we go...

Tips for Retards #28
To the cunty woman in my building's elevator...Don't give me attitude when I catch you trying to close the door on me and call you on it.


Tips for Retards #29
To the crotchety old douchebag I rode with recently on the elevator...the elevator doors open on their own when you reach your floor - you don't actually have to push "Door Open." That's not the intended purpose of the button...it's actually there to do the opposite of what happened to me in #28 above...


Tips for Retards #30
To moronic pedestrians who think my bicycle comes equipped with a cloaking device...when you look both ways to cross the street and see me coming...I'm actually NOT invisible and could possibly (see: probably) kill you should you be stupid enough to walk in front of my oncoming bike. It's kind of like a VEHICLE that way...


Tips for Retards #31
To everyone in my building...if we're waiting for the elevator together and I have my bike and you know you live on the second floor, it might be a spiffy idea for you to let me (who lives on a floor ranging from 20-30) get on first with my bike. I know it's a real rush to be the first 65 year old on the elevator, but aside from your personal aggrandisment, it serves no logical purpose.


Tips for Retards #32
To Evil Dick on Big Brother 8...please get someone who is literate to look up and read to you the definition of the word "humility."


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