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The FORTRESS of SOLITUDE

"So morbid...a sentimental replica of a planet long since vanished..."
~ General Zod

 

The Doucheblock

(a) douche [doosh] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation noun, verb, douched, douch·ing. –noun
  1. a jet or current of water, sometimes with a dissolved medicating or cleansing agent, applied to a body part, organ, or cavity for medicinal or hygienic purposes.
  2. the application of such a jet.
  3. a tool-fuck of monumental proportions

(b) douche-block [doosh-blok] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation noun, verb, douch-blocked, douch-blocking. –noun
  1. being blocked from completing an activity in due course based solely on the preventative actions (conscious or subconscious) of a douche (a). [see below]
The Doucheblock

You are attending a perfectly lovely event populated with moderately interesting people. You have a plan for exit that encapsulates everyone's best interests and is nothing short of completely considerate to all parties. Seconds before initiating your exit plan from said event, a douche crashes into your personal space and accidentally does something catastrophic (spills a drink, pushes you over, etc.). Before you realize it, you have been doucheblocked. Unfortunately, the only possible recovery from a doucheblock is to sit out the disruptive waves caused by the invading douche and leave at a more appropriate moment (ie, 20-30 minutes after the fact) so as to not appear to be reacting to the douche. Douches are like bears in this situation - reacting to them (regardless of the immediate effect their actions have on you) is a bad idea.
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