The FORTRESS of SOLITUDE

Greetings, true believers! The 4th episode of Project Runway has FINALLY arrived. And although the teasers for the drama were entirely misleading, we were still treated to some pretty fun shit...a shocking mid-episode elimination and then an even more shocking winning design.

Let's begin, shall we...

Just to remind everyone - Katherine left and Uli was the winner (with Immunity this week) on the last episode.

As usual, Wednesday's episode begins with the designers commenting on the events of the last elimination. Uli & Bonnie wonder if the producers were going to make everyone move in together and both agree its a good idea. Uli, however, insists on not including Angela in the 'everyone.' Nasty. Of course, we cut to Angela who is talking about how her miraculous recovery from designer oblivion last week; what it means for her game and what she has to prove to everyone this week.
Cut to the guys' apartment and Jeffrey commenting on how the fact that he's not won yet means people don't 'understand' him. I would be inclined to agree - much like the misunderstood Hitler, Jeffrey is fighting a losing battle in a cruel, unforgiving world of anti-autocrats. Hmph. He also manages to get a dig in about Keith's inexplicable appeal to the judges simply because he is a master bullshitter.
Back at the catwalk, Heidi gives the designers their challenge for this week - designing an outfit for I.N.C. (International Design Concepts) - apparently, the D is silent. The model choosing section of the show now begins, but they've taken a page from Season 1 and everyone gets to rechoose their models in turn as Heidi draws their names out of the magical velvet sac. This part of the show is generally boring and pointless unless someone decides to ditch their model for whatever reason.


Uli dumped her model and picked a new one, Keith's model - good on ya. Kayne picked a different one, then Michael picked a different one, etc., etc. Alison also dropped her previous model but unfortunately, her discarded girl was not picked up by anyone and was eliminated. Seriously, the amount of under-the-bus-throwing going on in this model selection session was pretty astounding.
The designers then head to the workroom to meet Tim Gunn, who introduces them to some guy from INC who we really don't care about but for the sake of goofing on him, his name is seriously Mehmet Tangoren. He gives them more details on the challenge, saying that they'll be designing a three-piece outfit for the INC customer. Here's how he describes the INC customer:

"She's really ageless. She's fashion forward. She reads all the magazines and wants the hot new looks."

INC, apparently, is sold across the US and is a big deal. I myself have never heard of it, but then again, we don't have Macy's stores in Toronto. Boohoo for me.
Tim Gunn butts in and tells us that this three-piece outfit is to be made by a team of three people. Each of the designers sketches and then presents their designs to Mehmet, who will in turn decide which four he likes best and then those four people will be team leaders with two other designers working under them. Phew. Got it? Good.
Angela decides this is the perfect opportunity for her to redeem herself in the eyes of her fellow designers - not bloody likely, but let's pretend she can design something other than a Cheesy Poof dress.
The designers are given a half hour to sketch and they're off! Keith, though, pops up and talks about how he's only had experience doing menswear! Da-DING! The counter goes up a point, muthah fuckahs!

Keith M. "Menswear" count = 2 3

Despite this background, Keith says he 'understand[s] what need[s] to be done to win.' Bonnie, also, is sure that she's perfect for this challenge, having worked at Nike for a number of years. Frankly, and feel free to call me an asshole, if you were so fucking scary talented, why are you on a reality show about designers trying to proove yourself? If you contained even a modicum of talent in the sportswear arena, I doubt Nike would have let your ass go. But, I digress...


Tim Gunn then pops his lovely, smiley head in and tells them that their 'FUCKING TIME IS UP' and whips all of them until they shuffle out of the workroom, off to INC to meet with Mehmet at Macy's. FIELD-TRIP!
The designers all present their ideas to him with varying degrees of success. Vincent garners the only laugh from yours truly when he says that he's sure 'grey is the new brown.' Interesting comment when you think about it, since no matter what colour material, grey or otherwise, he uses, Vincent's designs ALL look like steaming piles of shit.
After they've all finished, Mehmet decides on the team leaders.

He chose Robert first:

Then Bonnie:

Keith:

And finally, in a surprise choice, Angela:

The reactions to her being chosen were priceless.



Michael, for his part, was very surprised that Angela was chosen, as was Kayne. Jeffrey, though, was just afraid that Angela would pick him to be part of her team (uh, I don't think so - she doesn't 'get' you, remember? Pick an angst and stick with it, asshole).
We then cut to a commercial break - but what's this? It's TIM GUNN! Check it out!

Its apparently an ad for a Saturn Sky Roadster (like seriously, did anyone other than Jem and the Holograms use the term 'Roadster' to describe their car??). Tim gives us some insight into his private life, by letting us know that he often goes to the cloisters. Intriguing. Let's watch, shall we...?









Back from break in the workroom, Tim Gunn tells the designers that their names will be chosen randomly out of the magic velvet sac, at which time, they can choose one of the 'losing' designers to be part of their team. Tim reaches in and pulls out Angela's name first. She picks Michael. He's not at all impressed but manages to hide his annoyance until his interview clip, obviously taped later on...


I won't go through all the choices, but the teams ended up being:

Angela
Michael
Laura

Robert
Kayne
Vincent

Keith
Alison
Jeffrey

Bonnie
Uli
Bradley

Bradley was the last chosen and felt like a big loser about it, 'like the kid left out of kickball' which is odd, seeing as unlike his kickball youth, they're letting him play this time! He's got one up on Rudolph, so the unshaven fucktard should shut the hell up.
Bonnie, who ended up being FORCED to choose Bradley expresses some reservations about his time management skills and the fact that, based on the last challenge, he doesn't have any.
Mr. Gunn then informs the designers that the winning design will be for sale in Macy's largest stores across the country. Dah-YUM. Nice one.


Tim tells them that they have two days and each TEAM has a budget of $100. Should make for an interesting outfit, that's for sure. The design teams then have 15 minutes to 'caucus,' as Tim put it. Sorry, but he makes me giggle when he uses the word 'cock' unintentionally.
They all gather in their teams and Vincent is severely unimpressed by Robert's design. Tough, I say. I know there's no baskets involved, but gimme a break, ok? Angela's team, although disappointed at their unavoidable choice of leader, seem receptive to her idea, which is undeniably intriguing, being inspired by a sunrise over the Empire State Building. Keith's team, seems utterly confused when he deligates work to both Alison and Jeffrey. Despite being a menswear designer (DA-DING!)...

Keith M. "Menswear" count = 2 3 4

...he assigned Jeffrey to do the pants and Alison to do the double layered turtleneck, reversible into a dress (ugh). He took the plain, boring jacket on himself and Jeffrey rightly noted that Keith gave them 'the most ambitious parts of the outfit.'
Tim Gunn then entered stage left and informed them that they were now going shopping! Huzzah! Bonnie's group had to rethink their fabric choices because a couple of them became too expensive, while Angela's group were quite happy with her fabric choices. Laura put it best: "We were all happy with Angela's fabric selection. It was more appropriate for this particular challenge than the full-tilt, boogie Angela, quilted extravaganza...of puff." LOL Keith's group, or rather Keith himself, spent most of the time trying to sleaze his way into a discount with the store manager, who happily obliged. Jeffrey was unimpressed, saying, 'I'm not sure how or why - I can't put my finger on it, but something about him doesn't seem right.' Keith then comes on and talks about he likes to fudge the rule line to get his own way because he thinks he's always right. Ah...lovely...and like your contemporaries, Jade from ANTM, Amarosa from The Apprentice, and Jerry from Survivor: Australia - you're gonna be remembered as 'the asshole.' It should be noted, 'the asshole' has never won the show they're on so I'm not sure why so many pricks come onto these reality shows and try and pull off idiotic, misguided and all-around unfounded attitudes that amount to nothing in the end.



Back at the workroom, the designers start on their respective outfits. Bradley, the last designer chosen, ends up with the pants assignment from team leader, Bonnie, who doesn't up for a second because of her paranoia about his tardiness with his design last week.
Back at Keith's group, the team leader seems a little more dependent on the ideas of his group members than confident in his design choices. Alison points out that Keith is a little overwhelmed since 'he's never done womenswear before.' - DAMMIT! Not a valid 'menswear' count, unfortunately. She also points out that he's 'starting from scratch in a lot of ways' - I guess Episodes 1-3 don't count in Alison's mind as far as his experience with womenswear goes. Alison, though, does end up helping Keith out with the armhole, much to Jeffrey's chagrin, who points out that Keith's formula for success contains two factors - basic, simplistic designs and a bucket-full of charm. Kayne notices this also, pointing out that Alison and Jeffrey are doing all the work for Keith's design.


We return to the apartments and Kayne tells Vincent that he's seen some pattern making books in Keith's room. Vincent is shocked and we cut to Kayne in an interview clip saying everything that didn't fall within the rules was taken from him upon arriving for the show. So, it begs the question - how did Keith get pattern making books in without anyone knowing? Kayne goes on to explain why its so wrong: the fact that it gives someone an advantage of having to not create patterns from scratch for basic items - which, conveniently, is all Keith has managed to show us thus far in the competition - I'm sorry, but his episode 1 winning outfit was retardedly simple and in contravention of the rules (IMHO).


Kayne then brought his concerns to Robert, who was pretty cut and dry, stating only an idiot would think a pattern book was acceptable within the explicit rules they signed agreement to in their contracts.
Michael then got in on the action saying, 'It says in the contract that if you don't abide by these rules you are IMMEDIATELY dismissed from the show.' Robert, having zero backbone, told Kayne he should go immediately to the producer and let them know. Ratting? Yes. Appropriate? HELLLLLLLLLLLL yes!
Back from the break, we're treated to a Tim Gunn voice-over (a rarity) with the Gunn-man talking about how the rules of Project Runway are 'very clear' and one of the biggest rules is that there can be no 'how-to books.' He arrives at the boys' apartment and explains how Kayne told the producers and the producers told him, but then lets us in the real dirt: in addition to what's happening on screen, Keith left the production (presumably this means he left the apartment) for several hours and used the internet in that time, 'which were additional violations of the rules.'
Tim sits down with Keith and explains the situation. In their conversation, he tells Keith that the idea of a 'talented' (ha) designer like him having the books 'makes [him] sick.' DAMN! Angry Tim Gunn...first time ever. At the end of the explanation, Tim says, 'Accordingly, we're going to have to ask you to leave.'

DA-DA-DUM...

Keith was then forced to pack his bags and leave that night. Keith goes out to speak to the other guys about it and is pretty admirable in that he owns up to it and apologizes. Kayne isn't that impressed, asking him if '[he] realize[s] [he] brought this on [him]self?' Keith then snaps back to reality and says he understands their anger, but he's leaving the show, his name has been tarnished forever and now he'll be a laughing stock amongst his friends. And...we care, why? This little name tarnisher didn't even make it to the show, though. In his interview clip, Keith still blamed the other designers saying the pressure made them seek out a scapegoat. Interesting...much like Kara's (sorry, I fucking LOATHE that she pretentiously requests people call her by both her names) folly with the designer shoes for free in the final runway show during the first season - which she was totally out of line about, btw.
In the workroom, Tim Gunn comes in and talks to the designers about what happened the night before. First he explains what happened and that Keith was booted from the show.


Laura, as seems to be happening in this episode, has the best commentary on the situation: "Keith... ...what an asshole. I'm glad to see him gone."
Alison and Jeffrey, unfortunately, have no special exemption because their team leader is now gone and must continue as normal. Also, Tim throws in a 'make it work.' DA-DA-DING!!

Tim G. "Make it work" count = 2 3

Jeffrey and Alison both agree that its going to be much harder with both of them picking up the slack. Alison, though, is far more upset and has a moment by the window, whimpering mournfully.
Let's go back to Bradley's story, shall we? He is slowly but surely working on the pants that Bonnie designed, but Uli tells him, 'If it's wrong, you're gonna go home, honey bunny.' It was said in jest, but what a cunty fucking thing to say. He somehow manages to not punch her in the face and continues on.
Kayne, upon seeing Robert's semi-finished designed uses one term to describe it: flight-attendanty. Vincent was a little more vocal about it, but Robert was having none of it, saying 'You're entitled to your wrong opinion.' Vincent then cited Kayne's disapproval, but Robert pointed out that 'Kayne has the taste of a love-starved hyena.' WTF?!
Angela's team's confidence in her begins to waver when she insists that they place rosettes in various places on the outfit. Eek. Michael brings his concerns to his teammate, Laura who says, 'We obviously can't stop her from hanging herself.' Both team members are unimpressed by Angela's 'wacky design esthetic,' as were Vera Wang and Nina Garcia last week. Laura ends up providing the prefect compromise, just using the rosettes as the buttons. Snap!


Tim Gunn then arrives (for like the 20th time this episode) to comment on the respective outfits of each team. Robert, Vincent and Kayne are up first and Tim points out that judges will say theirs looks 'matronly' but that tomorrow's judging 'will be a matter of taste.'
Angela, Michael and Laura were next and surprisingly, had nothing negative to say about the outfit. Score!
Bonnie, Uli and Bradley were third and immediately, Bradly went into an explanation of why the ass on the pants looks like Star Jones neck flaps after her 'natural weight loss.' Apparently, when he pressed them, they all stretched and sagged to shit. Uli pointed out that the problem with the pants wasn't Bradley, the pressing or the quality of the sewing - it was the design (Bonnie) that was the problem.
Jeffrey and Alison explained to Tim that Keith had spoken to them about every step of the design and they were fairly comfortable continuing on to bring someone else's vision to fruition (even though they were slimey pricks and disqualified from competing). Tim says they look very far along considering they're clearly handicapped.
Cut to a montage of cutting, steaming, sewing, pressing, ripping, etc. and then back to the apartments where the men and the women have gathered for a drink...


The designers all talk about their thoughts of Keith leaving. Nothing of note or of importance - purely segue material to the final workroom scenes of this episode.
The day of the runway show arrives and Tim Gunn lets everyone know that they've got two hours to get their models hair and makeup done and reminds them that this is a Macy's challenge so they should use the Macy's accessories available to them. He ends off his comments with, 'You know what we say, "Make it work!"' DA-DA-DING!

Tim G. "Make it work" count = 2 3 4

The models come in and the designers start fitting them for the outfits. Robert's dress slit, unfortunately, was not made for human legs so when the model tried it on and walked, the entire ass of her outfit opened up. Kayne described it best, 'a little bit risque, like verging on skanky.'


Bonnie was still worrying about her pants, but not because of Bradley this time, just because she's the most asstastic designer on the show.
Alison and Jeffrey explained to their model what had happened and to be honest, impressed me that they were able to finish. On the other hand, the guy had simplistic designs and needed pattern books to help him so how hard could it have been to do what he had planned, huh?

Before the runway show begins, Heidi enters on the catwalk wearing ANOTHER hideous alien contraption/diaper combo. She did however, steal one of Tim Gunn's catchphrases saying that Alison and Jeffrey, despite losing their leader, had to 'make it work.' DA-DA-DING!

Tim G. "Make it work" count = 2 3 4 5


The judges are then introduced, with Michael Kors missing AGAIN...this is getting annoying. So, we're left with Vera Wang, Nina Garcia and Mehmet from INC.

On with the runway show!








Now it's time for the judging. Heidi first calls out Keith's team and then Angela's team and tells the remaining two teams that they have the lowest scores, asks them to leave the runway but tells them that they'll be back in a few minutes. That means Keith and Angela's teams have the highest scores.
The models them join the two teams left on the runway as Heidi begins with Angela's team. Mehmet asks about one of the rosettes on the back of the collar and says he loves it, as well as the proportions and the matte & shine of the fabric. Vera says she loves the mix of the feminine pink and the masculine grey. Angela then explains her inspiration, the sunrise over the Empire State building as Michael opens up the jacket to reveal the lining; a very architectural pink, white and grey print. Heidi points out that 'for $100, this looks very expensive to me.'
Alison and Jeffrey were next and the first question was about how they handled the loss of their leader - who was he again? Mehmet says he loves the pants, which Vera adds to saying they're 'very sexy' and the whole 'look is very, very hip, youthful and active.' The teams are then told the winner will be announced by having a window display created at Macy's, which they'll have to check the next morning.
The low scoring designers are then brought it and Bonnie's team is first. Heidi asks her to open the jacket the model is wearing to show what's underneath. What is revealed is what the devil sees when he looks into his closet backwards...


Nina, being her usual bitchy self, blurts out, 'I mean, who uses a cowl neck anymore?" But wait! Nina wasn't finished, she set her sights on the pants and incredulously asked, "What are those pants made of?" Bonnie explains that its a twill/wool crepe (?) and Heidi butts in with, "They look cheap, no?' Upon request, Bonnie raises the sweater so Nina can see the top of the pants. Barely half way up the models gunt and Nina wails, "BONNIE! I hate the fabric of the pants. I just think its dowdy - I don't see anything hip here.' Bonnie explains that she thinks her design is more widespread in its appeal - indeed, at a CNIB convention, I would think. Uli let's Nina know that she thinks the outfit is for an older customer, to which Ms. Garcia says, 'Even if you're an older customer, I don't think you want to look older.'
'They don't want to look like they've come straight out of the 70s,' Heidi adds. She then asks Bradley what his role in the outfit was and Nina continues with, 'How did you feel about this outfit?' Bradley chooses the diplomatic route and says that the outfit they made looks just like the horrible sketch. Vera adds her worthless two cents by saying, 'I guess maybe it doesn't look as fun as I would have expected of the three of you.'
After ripping Bonnie's team a few new assholes, Heidi moves onto Robert's outfit and asks straight away if their idea was to design for an old lady, too. Robert deflects, saying he thinks his design is 'sophisticated,' not old. Heidi then pointed out that the outfit didn't really fit together, which it didn't - it looked like a woman just got off her corporate job and was running from her SUV to the grocery store in the pouring rain. The jacket is entirely misplaced and ugly. The whorish slit up the back of the dress is also brought up and Nina is curious that no one on the team had noticed. D'oh! Heidi points out that Kayne and Vincent are very quiet and presses Vincent for his opinion of the design. Vincent tells her that it was Robert's design and he was 'very passionate about it' - in other words, he hates it but has no backbone. Truth be told, he did bring up his reservations to Robert, who was having none of it. The designers then head back to the waiting room for the deliberation.
The judges shoot the shit for a while and pull out the designers and eliminate Bonnie. Sorry, not worth pretending I care about her being eliminated, knowwattasayin'?


Cut to the next morning and Angela, Laura and Michael along with Alison and Jeffrey head to Macy's to see who's outfit is on display and on sale in their largest stores across America. Not so shockingly, it was Angela's outfit, which was clearly the best out of everything presented in this episode.


So, two eliminated - Keith and Bonnie, and Angela wins the challenge. I believe that's the first sign of the apocalypse right there...

BTW, Keith had some comments about his elimination for 'cheating' - you can read them here. (from RealityBlurred.com)

Keith M. "Menswear" count = 4
Tim G. "Make it work" count = 5
Tim G. "I'm concerned" count = 0

Categories: Project_Runway