The FORTRESS of SOLITUDE

I walk to work 95% of the mornings I go to work.

Sometimes I take a taxi because I'm tired, I'm late and/or I'm just lazy.

When I do walk, though, I often place my life in the hands of the hulking steel boxes of douchebaggery that inhabit the concrete canyons of downtown Toronto - mecca of the eternally stupid.

I decided to walk this morning, as the weather was awesome - clouded over, a slight chill in the air and a nice breeze covering all of it.

I'm walking along, feeling good, enjoying the fresh air and exercise. Then I round a corner to the Hospital for Sick Children. I see a Tim Horton's logo. I decide to enter to get an iced capuccino because I'm newly addicted to it's saccharine tainted sweetness and artificial 'coffee flavour.'

I can't find it in the hospital, so I decide to keep walking.

I get to the four way stop, each corner topped with a bright shiny stop sign. I stop, look both ways, and watch as one car already started, enters and exits the intersection. I start walking afterwards, as pedestrians have the right of way, and cars are to enter in a counter-clockwise fashion. I take three steps and a black sports car is bearing down on me, seemingly at 50kph, despite having just started up from the stop sign 20 feet back. The car slams on the brakes. I look at the driver, a youngish girl. She looks at me, exasperated at our 12 nanosecond long exchange of glances. I stare at her, dumbfounded that she was able to get out of bed...(as Lex Luthor once said, "It's amazing that brain can generate enough power to keep those legs moving..."). Then I let it rip.

"BITCH, I HAVE THE RIGHT OF WAY. FUCKING HELL."

I walk past the hood and she starts up again, clearly relieved that she no longer has to deal with these pitiful creatures that surround her daily and clutter up her planet.

I was tempted to give her the finger, but decided against it.

I reach the other side of the cross-walk and look back...


...as she pulls into the doctor's parking lot of the HSC.