The FORTRESS of SOLITUDE

I get up this morning after the roommate didn't come home last night, put on the kettle for coffee and he comes out of his room. He comes in the kitchen and claims ignorance to what happened. He claims that everything was fine in the living room when he and his boyfriend went to bed. I think I'm going to start arguing. I decide not to. I explain to him how I found it. I show him the evidence - the creased ironing board, the chipped iron, the scratches on the floor from the couch and his socks - the most damming evidence, as I certainly wouldn't go in his room and wear his socks for a day to dirty them up enough...

...and he still claims he doesn't know how it happened.

I'm done. I cannot believe he can't see the only logical explanation - he was so drunk he did it and doesn't remember.

I just say, "Well, I guess it must have been someone coming in because you left the door unlocked AGAIN." And walked out of the room.

My roommate SERIOUSLY needs help. I feel like I should forward these blog entries to mutual friends so they know...maybe one one of them cares enough to intervene. I do not.

I'm hungry and need a haircut.

So end the Tales of the Ironing Board...