The FORTRESS of SOLITUDE

Appetizer
Name something you would categorize as weird.
Drinking coffee in the shower ;)

Soup
What color was the last piece of food you ate?
brown with off-white liquid (all bran and soy milk)

Salad
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how much do you enjoy being alone?
Probably hovering around a 6, but I intend to get it higher.

Main Course
Fill in the blank: I will _________ vote for ___________ in _______.
I will not vote for an American in 2008.

Dessert
Describe your sleeping habits.
Erratic. I sleep on my side with my arms crossed or clutching a pillow. I need 7.5 hours or I'm unbearable (mentally).

Categories: Friday_Feast

I've decided to start posting some of the entries I find interesting that appear on the many blogs I read regularly. And by many, I mean millions and by read, I mean skim quite superficially. Nice pictures will always get my vote! ;)

Anyway...here we go...

• Romach poses an interesting question
• Dead Robot recounts a horrible experience
• Re-Imagineering is still relaying the It's a Small World Saga
  (I, for the record, am genuinely interested)
• my new plaid pants gives us another installment of Thursdays Ways Not to Die
• CityTV offers a new method for repelling teenage vagrants
• Wil Wheaton's garden is overrun.
• PS3 Fanboy makes my favourite game even better...
• passiveaggressivenotes.com gives us an honest reply
• Torontoist turns a sympathetic eye to an abandoned house
  (that is actually right down the street from my apt building)
  

Categories: ThePhantomZone

Check out this article.

I am utterly speechless.

Categories: Miscellaneous

My good buddy Tyler and I made our first pilgrimage of 2008 to the mecca of all things quasi-heterosexual, Crappy Tire, last night. I was just a wingman, really having no purpose other than to keep Tyler company which I was quite happy to do. We met up as soon as Tyler got home from work and headed out.
Tyler's goal was to buy some paint that was going off sale this Friday. We painted his kitchen and parts of his living room last summer, but he was looking to redo the living room. Anyway, anyway, anyway...we get to Crappy Tire and head to the paint department. While waiting for the CT employee at the counter to finish with a sweet old lady, who was the spitting image of the old lady trying to get insurance in The Incredibles, this skankalicious woman with a South African accent comes up and says hi to us. Tyler, of course, begins a dialogue with her as I sink further and further into any other aisle within fleeing distance. Before I disappeared altogether though, I heard her actually say (brace yourself)...


I was milliseconds away from retorting...

"You complete and utter inability to put pigment on a flat surface has very little to do with your dried up, prune-like, aged va-jay-jay," but I managed to resist.

This is a pretty broad (no pun intended), wide-ranging tip:

Tips for Retards #42

"Whether you're a woman, a man or anything in between...don't be a FUCKING DOUCHEBAG. Full stop."

Categories: Tips_For_Retards

1) What was I doing 10 yrs ago?

In 1998, I was working at Sam the Record Man, I believe. I honestly can’t remember the specifics. Prolly living in a shithole at Dufferin and Eglinton, overrun with roaches and smelly neighbours.

2) What are 5 things on my to-do list for today:

1. Shower
2. Shave
3. Laundry
4. Watch last night’s Hell’s Kitchen
5. Chill with Tyler tonight

3) Snacks I enjoy:

Tortilla’s with black bean and corn salsa, frozen yogurt

4) Things I would do if I were a billionaire:

1. Buy myself and a couple friends permanent residences
2. I would travel around the world
3. Allow my parents to retire
4. Return to university for shits and giggles
5. Pay off someone's student loans...you know who you are. :)

5) Five of my bad habits:

1. I overanalyze
2. I worry about non-existent, usually non-logical events that will never happen
3. Bad with money
4. Procrastinating
5. No attention span

6) 5 places I have lived:

1. Sudbury, ON
2. Chelmsford, ON
3. Toronto, ON
4. Oakville, ON
5. Hamilton, ON

…wow…boring

7) 5 jobs I have had:

1. Cash manager in retail
2. In-bound call centre at a publisher
3. Office manager
4. Sandwich artist (heehee!)
5. Hospital grunt

8) 5 peeps I wanna know more about:

1. Ian
2. Romach
3. Dead Robot
4. Mark
5. Eiain

Categories: TAG

Oh man...as people may or may not know, I listen to Howard Stern on Sirius satellite radio religiously. Today, during one of the many entertaining conversational sections of the show, Howard commented on a cupcake that sidekick Artie Lange was eating - the thing had about 1500 calories jammed into it and Artie eats them like they're going out of style. Anyway, anyway, anyway...in the midst of the conversation they played one of the many song parodies that people from all over the world send in...and this one made me squeal with glee (coz I love the original song) and then nearly pee my pants at the cleverness of the rejigged lyrics. By the time the second chorus came up, the entire studio was singing along... LOL

Artie Loves Pancakes (sung to Bonnie Tyler's "Heartache")

Artie loves pancakes
He'll wash them down with chocolate shakes
He's gaining so much god damn weight
Coz Artie loves pancakes

He's gonna be on "Entourage"
But his ass is the size of a garage
He's gonna lose that job
He can't wipe his ass on the bowl
Coz all those pancakes block his asshole
What a fat slob

Artie loves pancakes
He'll wash them down with chocolate shakes
He's gaining so much god damn weight
Coz Artie loves pancakes

(repeat)

Best bit: Immediately upon the song fading out, Artie piped up, "Lisa, can you get me a fork?"


Categories: Miscellaneous

Hmmm...didn't do as well as I thought I would...

1 ?
2 a xenomporh from the Alien series
3 from centipede?
4 the Predator from Predator
5 the Sesame Street aliens, "Yup, yup, yup!"
6 Marvin the Martian
7 bug alien from Starship Troopers
8 Krang from the Simpsons
9 The Silver Surfer
10 A Vogon from THGTTG
11 ?
12 The Thing?
13 A tribble
14 ?
15 ?
16 ?
17 Galactus from Silver Surfer
18 E.T.
19 The first alien from Close Encounters
20 ?
21 galaxian or galaga alien
22 space invaders alien
23 The alien in the tank from Dune?
24 ?
25 Klaatu
26 Nibbler from Futurama
27 The Great Gazoo
28 Mr. Spock
29 ?
30 ?
31 Alien from War of the Worlds (remake)
32 ?
33 An Andorian
34 ?
35 ?
36 ..or is this the Predator?
37 Martian from Mars Attacks
38 Mork
39 Beldar Conehead
40 ?
41 ?
42 ?
43 ?
44 ?
45 ?
46 Dr. John Zoidberg from Futurama
47 ALF
48 Admiral Ackbar
49 Greedo
50 ?

Categories: TAG

Appetizer
Name a color you find soothing.
Uh...Dusty Rose...?

Soup
Using 20 or less words, describe your first driving experience.
Horrific, standard car, stuck on hill...mum screaming. FUN TIMES!!

Salad
What material is your favorite item of clothing made out of?
Cotton.

Main Course
Who is a great singer or musician who, if they were to come to your town for a concert, you would spend the night outside waiting for tickets to see?
At this point in time? No one.

Dessert
What is the most frequent letter of the alphabet in your whole name (first, middle, maiden, last, etc.)?
3-way tie...

N - 3
R - 3
A - 3

Categories: Friday_Feast

I know, super gay of me to post this, but it's fantastic....especially Miss Piggy's bit. Too funny.

My bud Mark over at Mark's Rants and Raves recently posted a striking photo of two butterflies. I found it quite inspiring and decided to make it my innaugural painting of my new watercolour set. I'm quite pleased with the result...

I took a little artistic license for composition purposes, but it's fairly faithful to the original. You can view a much larger version of it on my flickr account

Categories: Miscellaneous