The FORTRESS of SOLITUDE

WARNING: This blog entry is seeped in melodrama and self-loathing. You have been warned.

So, I'm going to Waterloo to see my man this weekend. I have a list of things to do:

- tape Eastenders from Wed. and Thurs.
- do laundry
- get a haircut
- pick up underwear
- pick up a new backpack

None of these things could be done before or during work except the underwear and the backpack items. I didn't really like the idea of having packaged underwear in my bag at work, so I thought I would tackle the backpack issue. I decided to take a trip down to Mountain Equipment Co-Op to buy a new one.

Before doing this, however, I checked their trusty and informative website to see what they had and what I would encounter when I arrived at their store, threw open the doors, reveled in their air conditioning and shopped till I was blue in the face. I found a couple bags I liked that were reasonably priced.

I headed out from my office with my ratty backpack in toe, listening to my MP3 player.

The sun was out, unlike my walk TO work, so the heat was oppressive and the humidity, that hangs over this city like flies around a pile of pooh, was even more so. I began misting. Then full blown hand wipes were required. My undershirt started sticking to me. My back began moistening up. Ick. Ick. Ick.

Nearly there. Nearly.

I cut across a parking lot to save time. I slip between an SUV and a sports car. As I pass the mirrors, I don't notice my unusually long headphone wire wraps around the SUV driver's side mirror. I keep walking.
My head is snapped back as the wire pulls at the headphones. My hair is a mess. It wet. I'm sweaty. I'm annoyed.

Nearly there.

I can see it getting closer. The green MEC logo is so inviting.

I get to the door. The lights are out.

Strange.

I look at the Hours of Operation sign.

Mon - Thurs 10am to whenever...

Friday...
...10am to whenever.

I look at my mobile.






9:32

That was the moment. I didn't realize it then, but that was the moment that the rollercoaster crested the top of the hill...the moment where you're pinned at the top of a huge incline, but still not careening down it. That was the moment.
The decent into madness was gradual, but a phone call from the boyfriend sped it along. Not that HE made me go mad, but talking about what I was annoyed at made me even more angry and made everything seem worse.

"I went to MEC and they were closed. 10 FUCKING am. What kind of SHITHOLE opens at 10am?!?! When do most stores open, huh?"

"I dunno...maybe-"

"9 FUCKING am! That's when!"

"When does the Eaton Centre open, huh?"

"I..?"

"9 AM!! FUCK."

"When I used to work at Sam's...? We opened at...9 AM."

"Um..."

"HMV!?!? 9 AM!"

"Sean..."

"But...NO. Mountain COCKING Equipment CHRISTING Co-Op doesn't open until 10am. Fucking hell. Not 9:45 where I could have waited. NO. 10 FUCKING am!"

The conversation was really insane and dog-barking-esque from my end and I want to apologize, for the record, for being insane.

I am sorry. He talked me down on the phone and I apologized then, but I feel like the ass that I am. :(

However...I still need a FUCKING backpack and I'm CERTAINLY not going to shop at Mountain Assing Equipment Sucking Co-Op.

Rant over.

"I used to think if you fell from grace it was more likely than not the result of one stupendous error, or else an unfortunate accident. I hadn't learned that it can happen so gradually you don't lose your stomach or hurt yourself in the landing. You don't necessarily sense the motion. I've found it takes at least two and generally three things to alter the course of a life: You slip around the truth once, and then again, and one more time, and there you are, feeling, for a moment, that it was sudden, your arrival at the bottom of the heap."

- Jane Hamilton, "A Map Of The World"